CISD – Critical Incident Stress Debriefing
OK GO – A band
We’ve been discussing how the different emotions experienced after a traumatic event can be explained through the music of OK GO. So far we’ve covered the initial responses to the incident, anger, in which everyone was asking us how we felt, are we OK? Leave me alone we said, Don’t ask me how I’ve been. Then we stepped into the next stage of our faux recovery, denial, when we feel invincible.
Today we’ll look at the moment when you find yourself alone, likely in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, wondering “WTF is happening?”
Conveniently OK GO describes the same situation in their song WTF.
The opening lyric perfectly sums up how I felt just before my actual recovery began:
“I’ve been tryin’ to wrap my head around, what the fuck is happening.” (the official lyric says “oh well” instead of “around” but I don’t hear it)
That’s exactly what is going on in your head a few weeks into the recovery process. Following the initial anger and quick invincibility phase is complete self doubt. Confusion sets in and, like the video for this song, so much is going on in your head you just want it all to stop. Colors, shapes, sounds, thoughts, so much races through your head leaving small traces of what just was only to be replaced by something else confusing and distracting. Thoughts piled on thoughts piled on doubt.
Figuring out what is happening inside your head will take time and professional help. You don’t need 3 sessions a week for a year, or even the indepth psycho analysis we often see TV cops going through, but someone who can sit you down, discover what step of recovery you are in and give you suggestions to work through it. You will be amazed when one of those suggestions suddenly hits the pause button on all the confusion and noise in your head. It is in that brief moment, and it is brief, that you can glimpse a life without the hurt of what you are feeling. Of course the play button gets pressed again soon after leaving the office of the person who is helping you when you realize you are the only one who can put in the effort to get things started.
But when you do finally work up the courage to start that suggestion and give it time to work, the results will astonish you. You’ll wonder how on earth you let yourself get so worked up over what happened. You’ll realize that this too shall pass, our next step in recovery.