It doesn’t get more vague than this. When nothing fits, they call it “assist a citizen.” Well, on this day I happen to be assigned to a very specialized unit, a Ladder Truck that specializes in forcible entry and ventilation at fires, not to mention search and rescue. For those with no fire service background…The truck with the big ladder and the steering wheel in the back.
Someone at City Hall has called asking for help at an address in a questionable neighborhood. Upon arrival the very large and heavily equipped unit finds a man and woman looking into a storm grate near a van…wait for it…no this is good…parked in a red zone. They dropped their keys and can’t move the van.
We establish that yes, they are in fact calling for help for lost keys and the van is in the red zone, “Just real quick while I checked in on a friend.” This neighborhood is famous for drug use and I was pretty sure I saw a person using this grate as a toilet earlier in the day so I advised the man that the auto club may be the best way to go in this situation. “But the Mayor said you would get the keys for us.” “Oh really?” We asked. Gloved up and wondering how to get this old grate off the odor was indescribable. Just as we figured a winching system to pull the heavy grate up and look for the keys we heard from the man behind us, “Don’t worry Hon, this is what these men are trained for.”
I took a deep breath, nearly gagged, and sighed. It reminded me of those credit card ads. You know: 5 Firefighters for 1.5 hours $750, 1 Ladder Truck $375,000, 1 damaged storm grate $500, watching the Fire Department recover your urine soaked keys while you were parked in a red zone, priceless.