It used to be the folks looking for something other than medical care concocted believable stories to confuse us.  Tales of vague complaints and facts that could not be refuted required us to do what they wanted.

Where is the imagination?

Why not even the slightest effort?

All you have to do is try and I’ll give you credit.  Just try.

Tonight I have seen another of my clients who simply uses EMS as a taxi service and didn’t even put the effort into it.

AP (Angry Person) is sitting on a bench near an intersection in a rather lightly traveled area.

HM (Our hero) dismounts the engine, ALS kit in tow.

And now to our scene:

HM “Did you report an emergency?”

AP “I took all my medicines, I need a hospital.”

HM “The ambulance is on the way, My name is Justin, may I ask yours?”

AP “I’m AP. Where is the ambulance?”

HM “It’s coming, they asked me to stop by in the meantime and see if you need help.  What did you take and when?” My pen is at the ready as the EMT is having no luck convincing AP to roll up their sleeve for a BP.

AP “All of them, all my pills.”

HM “What are they called or what are they for?”

AP “I don’t know. I don’t want to answer a bunch of smart ass questions, I want to go to the hospital.”

HM “I’m clear on your request, but I need to find out what may be happening so I can possibly help you.” AP rolls their eyes and crosses their legs and arms, then sighs.

HM “Do you have ID?”

AP Taken aback at such a question “No I don’t have ID…I…I was mugged a week ago.”

HM Relaxing “OK, that’s fine.  If you were mugged, where did you get the medicine?”

AP “The pharmacy of course. You ask some pretty stupid questions.”

HM Now sitting on the ALS bag “How did you get your meds with no ID?”

AP Realizing the wheels are coming off their poorly thought out story “I don’t like you anymore.”

We went round and around for a few minutes as the ambulance pulled up.  AP was starting to become more and more hostile and I was becoming the rarely seen “Disagreeable Medic” when I looked at AP and said “This isn’t my first rodeo.  Just tell me what you want and I can help you, but lying to me is no way to get what you want.”

As if the universe was listening, AP went into a tirade about not being able to afford the nicer things in life, being homeless and no with no meds (forgotten was the reported ingestion) and wanting to endRING…RING.

end what?


AP’s cell phone is ringing.  AP answers the phone.  I gave up.  Transfer of care completed.

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