Upcoming Curriculum Changes

I have stolen a peak at the new EMT Curriculum and had a chance to go through it word by word.

Unfortunately, there are a few sections missing that I feel need to be highlighted and returned to the standard knowledge base of every EMT in the country.

1.  Understanding Paramedic Humor – Too often I have restocked from an ambulance and when asked if I need anything else replied, ‘Get a cup of hot fat, the Beatles White album, oh, and bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia.” only to be handed a hot pack.

2.  Carrying heavy shifting loads under threat of vomit – Sounds like it should be day 1 to me.

3.  Resetting Life Alert Base Stations – See the big button with the yellow light that says reset?  PUSH IT!

4.  Spelling – When I ask you to copy down the meds list, don’t guess, simply recreate what you see on the bottle right there on the form.  Don’t go rogue and try out some new abbreviations or interpretations.

5. You are not here to save the paramedic – Turns out most of the things you’re reminding us of (C-spine, O2) are actually bad for them anyway.  I’m not ignoring their sat of 98%, I’m 2 steps ahead of you.  Now where is my stethoscope again?

6.  Pens – You carry them, they get tangled in my cape.

7.  Nurse interactions – When we hit triage and no one will make eye contact, block the entrance to the nurses station with your patient.  Don’t try to apologize, try to get their attention by making them look at what they need to be looking at.

8.  Stop pissing off the nurses – We’ll be back here in an hour and they’ll remember.  Unless it’s 6:30, in which case, let’s have some fun!

9.  Social Workers have it lucky – They get to sit in an air conditioned room and do the same interview we do, but 2 days from now, after our client has been to the ER 3-4 times for the same “hunger pains.”

10. When I’m hungry, we eat.

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10 thoughts on “Upcoming Curriculum Changes”

  1. EMS without the head of Alfredo Garcia is just a bad idea. Warren Oates would be great at EMS, if he were still alive. He would be our big toe. And he wasn’t always there to be that big toe for us.

    OTOH, Sam Peckinpah was a mechanism of injury kind of guy, just in slow motion.

  2. EMS without the head of Alfredo Garcia is just a bad idea. Warren Oates would be great at EMS, if he were still alive. He would be our big toe. And he wasn’t always there to be that big toe for us.

    OTOH, Sam Peckinpah was a mechanism of injury kind of guy, just in slow motion.

  3. First of all: Your service has hot packs? Aren’t we hoity toity?!?

    Second of all: Spelling and penmanship should be on the captain’s exam too :) Wiat, where thai?

    And lastly (and most importantly for your health and well being): I’ll be sure not to let my wife, a social worker at Children’s Oakland, read number 9!

  4. First of all: Your service has hot packs? Aren’t we hoity toity?!?

    Second of all: Spelling and penmanship should be on the captain’s exam too :) Wiat, where thai?

    And lastly (and most importantly for your health and well being): I’ll be sure not to let my wife, a social worker at Children’s Oakland, read number 9!

  5. This is one EMT that would never let a Fletch quote pass by unnoticed… Next time you take the ambulance by the shop, tell them you’re going to need a set of 30-weight ball bearings, some 4-in-1 oil, gauze pads and 10 quarts of antifreeze. When they ask you why, ask them if they need a refresher course.

  6. This is one EMT that would never let a Fletch quote pass by unnoticed… Next time you take the ambulance by the shop, tell them you’re going to need a set of 30-weight ball bearings, some 4-in-1 oil, gauze pads and 10 quarts of antifreeze. When they ask you why, ask them if they need a refresher course.

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